Who am I?

Are you sure you want to know?

This blog is not for the faint of heart.

If somebody said this blog was a happy little blog, if someone told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world… somebody lied.

Anyhoo, here’s a Q & A I got off the internet.

1. Who are you named after?

A cat, or a baby. One of them is my first name, the other is my middle name. I can’t remember either because, seriously, why would I bother?

2. Do you like your handwriting?

No. It’s like drunk hieroglyphics. Typing should be law anyway. What is this, ancient Egypt?

3. What is your favourite lunch meat?

Huh. This took a left turn.

Chorizo, because it tastes better than any other lunch meat.

4. Longest relationship?

Ha. No.

5. Do you still have your tonsils?

Last time I checked. This question makes me nervous. I’ll be back in a moment.

6. Would you bungee jump?

No. I’m afraid of heights. I did do ‘bungee jumping’ on a trampoline once, and that was quite fun.

7. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Sometimes. Every time I do it I hate myself for having done it, and then I do it again.

8. Favourite ice cream?

Caramel. Or cookie dough. I feel like there’s a Ben and Jerry’s flavour out there with both.

9. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Their bodies.

10. Football or baseball?

Baseball is outlawed in the United Kingdom.

11. What colour pants are you wearing?

That’s a very personal question.

12. Last thing you ate?

Caramel yoghurt.

13. If you were a crayon what colour would you be?

Light blue.

14. Favorite smell?

Bacon. Burning. Burning bacon.

15. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

My parents. I never claimed to be cool.

16. Hair colour?


17. Eye colour?


18. Favourite foods to eat?

Pizza, bacon, scrambled eggs, human flesh, chicken, peanut butter, toast. I think that covers it.

19. Scary movies or happy endings?

This would not seem to be a binary choice. Lots of scary movies have happy endings.

20. Last movie you watched?

Spider-Man: Homecoming. Four stars. Good.

21. Favourite holiday?

Christmas! Winter is objectively better than summer.

22. Beer or wine?

Diet Irn Bru.

23. Night owl or early bird?


24. Favorite day of the week?

Saturday, the only one worth acknowledging.




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